Introducing The Real Washing Machine man

Yes go on, have a load of laughs at my expense! You
would not be smirking if it was you stuck inside this
thing day after day. Some of us have to work for a
living and unfortunately we cant all get a nice cozy
job in some office or become a film star.
Just look at me.....go on, look below, that's me:

Yes I am a real person you know. Did you think I was some face without a name? Well actually my name is Tim Tum. Oh yes, ha ha, so I have a silly sounding name as well huh?

This is my wife of 22 years Tilly. She has been of so much support to me of late. Just look at her, can you say it's fair for her to put up with my poor job?

This is my Dog Muppett. He really misses me around the place since I took on the new shifts here. He really deserves better don't you think?

Just stop and think for a minute. Did it ever
occur to you that I may not have a choice in
this matter. That I could only be doing this
job for fear of not be able to put food on the
table for my family. Got you thinking?

Well I don't have a choice see. Until about a
year ago I was a highly paid Executive of
an international Telecoms Agency. I was
bringing home close to $750,000 a year.

Everything was just peachy until I was asked
to make a trip to some back water in Africa.
The Prime Minister of that place wanted a
new communications link up so he could
keep in contact with his people more.

How was I to know he was planning to kill
the American Ambassador. He seemed
so nice to the Diplomat, I had no idea
he was having an affair with Minister's
Daughter. When I was asked to install
some secret cameras, this was the last
situation I had expected.

Of course, I get the blame. 25 years of
good solid service counted for nothing.
I was out of a job, out of my Luxury
penthouse and in to a slum home in
the heart of the Red Light District!

I thought my luck had changed as soon
afterwards I got a job working as a
product tester for Economy Toilet Rolls.
The night before I would eat a prepared
food item the company had given me and
then first in the morning I was ready to
get testing the new lines.

Well all I can say is that after a few weeks
my Ass was red raw. I could not even face
a toilet roll at home. The drug store I used
on a regular basis knew what I wanted. I
understand they made quite a profit from
Antiseptic Cream whilst I was working on
the toilet roll testing line.

I stood the job for seven months until I
had decide enough was enough. It was
soon afterwards that my eye caught the
ad for this job. New opportunity to be
part of an expanding communications
network based on the Internet.

Good pay with excellent prospects for a
speedy promotion it said. Well I just
jumped at the chance and I could not
believe my luck when I met idris iella.
He offered me the job at once.

I should never have signed the contract.
My first day was sheer hell. After several
hours stuck in the Washing machine my
back was just killing me. After a week I
decided I had to quit.

That's what I wanted. What I got just hit
me like a ton of bricks. Mr. Iella pointed
to my contract and said I had to stay on
the job. You see I had signed a binding
agreement that meant if I left I would
risk being taken to court for breach of
my contract with idris iella.

What' more, my contract states that if
I do not perform as expected, when the
agreement ends in three years time I am
forced to continue another minimum
contract of a further two years.

So you see we do not all have a choice
what job we take on. Just think about
that one when you laugh at me again!