4) This web site will NOT tolerate Pokemon of any
description. Further more this server has been
set up to detect this virus and will send out an
auto-destruct signal to any PC that logs on with
Pokemon within 10 Meters of the monitor.

5) Colds and Flu are to be kept away from this web site
at all times. This is because if you sneeze
you will mess the monitor up and be unable
to view the site in all its glory.

6) There is no minimum height restriction to view
this web site however we strongly recommend
all web users not enter this site who are
over 8 feet tall.

7) Animals may view this web site at any time however
we cannot be held responsible if they become
addicted to the content.

8) Couples may view this web site on condition
they pay full attention to the content.
Any deviation from viewing
the content will not be
tolerated.

9) Users must agree to use one of the
following Web Browsers:

Web Chuck 2.5
Constellation Log On 8
Net-Whizz-A-Tron-All versions
Photon Track Web 6.5
The Buzz 1.12
Lightning Web Watcher-All versions
Kentucky Net User 3

The following Browsers must not be used:

Internet Explorer-All Versions
Netscape Navigator-All Versions
Opera-All Versions

10) Any Politician may view this web site on
condition they sit down and shut
the hell up!!!

11) Elvis, if your out there, you may view any content on
this site on condition you leave proof of where
you live and what you have been up to all these years.

12) You may leave the site at any time however
when you return you must agree to view an
extra page.

13) If you are aged 13 then please go away, your parents
will be wondering why your reading this instead
of doing your home work.

14) You may view this web site underwater. We don't know how you would do this but good luck to you anyway.

15) Access to this site via a tree is not permitted.

16) You may not view this web site during the following times. Please note all times are based on GMT:

Mondays 06.51 - 06.52
Tuesdays - 10.27 - 10.30
Thursdays - 07.04 - 07.23
Fridays - 11.08 - 11.17
Saturdays - 03.01 - 04.06
Sundays - 06.34 - 06.35, 9.59 -10.44 and 11.56 - 11.58

Also during the Month of April, July, Oct and Nov
You may only view this web site when a full Moon is due.

17) Any user who knows who shot JFK is advised to go straight through to the VIP page once reading the full list of
terms and conditions.

We do not have a VIP page as such but dammit we will
build one just for you!!!